I don't know what to do...
Friday, April 2, 2010;
4:46 PM
I'm not so sure about those 5 weeks anymore...:(
Today I was about to buy my plane tickets then something hit me...
It was actually the price, now you have to pay even more if you want to check in at the airport... but I didn't really care about that...
The thing that's been bothering me for quite some time now came up again.
What if I cannot find a job? (I want to do some babysitting, be a live-out nanny...) I was planning to start looking for a family in June, but I have to buy the tickets soon, in a couple of days. What if there's no one? What if something goes wrong and it's a pervert? I can't help it, but you can't blame me. The world we live in is far away from innocence.
So, I have three days to figure this out. Originally I wanted to go for 3 weeks... My mom says 5 weeks is a long time and she understands that I really want it, but also shares my concerns.
But there's also the love... I want it so bad. I want to spend as much time as I can. But, it comes again, what if I don't have a job. I cannot afford, WE cannot afford, to spend 5 weeks in London doing nothing. And actually I couldn't spend five weeks there without a purpose.
I'm sad.
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what if today was your last day?